where are you?

(bey)
i got to the hospital and i asked the doctors if i can see my momma and they said that they are still working on her they said that they dont know if she will make it and i broke down i need my momma in my life and if i lose her i lose myself i need my momma. i went to the waiting room it was only me and solange we held each other and cried for hours until the nurse said we had to leave .. the next day i went to the hospital and they told me that my mother was doing better but she couldnt have any visitors and i dont know why i mean if she is doing better then why cant i see her but whatever ... a few days past and my mom was finally able to come home i brung her to my house because the doctor said imma have to keep a eye on her for a few days. its about 7 something today is friday me and jay is NOT on good terms right now because he thinks everything is about him this is what happened we was watching a movie last night then his phone started ringing i was like jay go in the living room or something and he was like no so he stayed in the room and talked on the phone for like a hour so i got up and went in the guestroom and started watching the movie and he got mad at me and right now i dont even care because i didnt start this so whatever. i went downstairs and my mom and jay was talking. the kids was in the living room to but they were watching something idk what it was i walked past jay and he was looking at me and i mouthed to him 'what the fuck was he looking at' when my mom wasn't looking he gave me the finger and i did the same thing then walked into the kitchen and started to try and make me something to eat i remember solange teaching me how to make chicken and mac and cheese so that's what im going to try and make i got all the stuff out to make the food my mom asked me if i needed some help and i said no . OK so i know how to do this i remember she said to ummmm. oh yeah pour the grease in the pan and then put some season on the chicken and put it in the flour then the pot thats simple. i did all that and i forgot to turn the stove on . i took the chicken out the pot and threw it away i tried again then i burnt it so i just said fuck it and i walked away jay started laughing so i hit him on the head . i went upstairs and got dressed well. i tried to but NONE OF MY CLOTHES FIT i was so pissed i head to but on some sweats and i got in my car and went to the mall . while i was there people was taking pictures and coming up to me asking for autographs and everything even though i was mad i still manage to put a smile on my face .some people saw my bump in my belly and was touching it i didn't like it at all but i let them do it  . after i bought me some clothes i noticed i had me and jay's black card i used his of course because i only spend my money on my kids ha . i was going to go to Kelly house she has a knew house and her and trey are legally separated when i got there she wasn't there i was so mad. so i went to solange house and of course her ass wasn't there either so i decided to get some food then go home . i went  home blue was sleep on the couch my mom was outside with jj and jay was in the room watching a movie i walked in and then walked out because i didnt want to be anywhere by him until he realize he was wrong . he grabbed me and threw me on the bed then he got on top of me and bite my neck hard as hell
bey-what the hell shawn
jay-why you havent talk to me all day
bey-because im mad at you
jay-bey really
bey-yes really you got mad at me for nothing
jay-*sighs*i know and im sorry
bey-that is what i been waiting for a sorry thats all i wanted *kisses him*
jay-well i gave it to you
bey-yes you did now get up
jay-what i thought we could have make up sex
bey-haha nope now get up
jay-please
bey-maybe later and remember momma is still here
jay-oh yeah fine

bey and jay watched tv until about 12 that night jay told bey he was gonna go out for a few hours and bey said that was fine she feel asleep . and the next morning jay wasnt there and bey thought nothing of it she thought that he probably went to kanye house to rest and then come home.

2 WEEKS LATER jay havent showed up to the house and bey is really worried

(bey)
i havent seen jay or heard from him in 2 weeks this is not like him he usually calls and let me no something i dont know told day im going to see what happened and im really sad jay isnt here he always came to the kids doctors appts. i hope he is ok and is not cheating . i decided to bring jj and blue with me to the doctor appt. they have been asking about jay especially blue because she is a daddy girl . im not mad at her hey if she like her father more then oh well.. jj is a momma's boy so im cool . i got the kids dressed and then i got dressed and i grabbed my purse and phone and we left when we got there we had to wait for about 10 minutes then we went in the room the doctors looked through some papers then he told me lay back and i did then he put the jelly stuff on my belly for some reason it was cold i donr remember it being cold because both of my ultra-sounds i had with jj and blue the jelly was warm but anyways he spreaded the jelly around and i looked at the screen he showed blue and jj the arm and head and everything and they seemed amazed and excited to meet the baby then finnaly the time came

doctor-ms.carter your having a

  TO BE CONTINUED..

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lol im kidding imma keep going

doctor-ms.carter your having another baby girl
bey-YESS!!!!
blue-yay
jj-i want a bother
bey-aww baby i know but you are going to have another sister
jj-thats too many girls mommy
bey-lol i know baby

bey and her kids left and they stop to get something to eat they went to a nice restaurant to eat 

blue-mommy im hungry
bey-i know you got to wait till the food comes
blue-i know
bey-ok guess what your sister name gonna be
blue-what
bey-Brooklyn Giselle carter
blue- i like that 
jj-when is daddy coming back i miss him
bey-me too baby 

they talked and ate some more then they went home when they got there bey gave them both a bath together then got them dressed . after they got dressed they went in bey room so they could talk

bey-ok yall know mommy is pregnant and daddy is not here i dont know where he is but thats besides the point i dont want yall being bad or causing problem because its not good for the baby ok
blue-ok 
jj-ok

(bey)
i talked to them a little more then i put them in there own bed sometimes they sleep with me and some times they dont after they went to sleep i went in my room to talked to the baby it was so many emotions running around my mind i was happy, sad, scared, nervous, mad , angry every feeling you could think of i need jay here i mean before he left we were good anyways i talked to my baby girl i told her "so i guess your the last one huh? because after you baby girl mommy not having anymore lol i love you with all my heart already hopefully you will be a mommies girl lol i cant wait to hold you brook brook i like that . that is going to be your nick name baby  you like that name" she kicked and i knew she was listening to what i was say i continued"ill take that as a yes lol i already know your gonna be beautiful like your older sister im going to warn you blue is mean lol but she can be nice at time its ok but your bother is the jealous type like your daddy speaking of daddy i dont know where he is right now but im sure he will be back by the time you get here i love you brooklyn" then i rubbed my  stomach and just touching it just so i could feel her kick i started tearing up im so pissed jay isn't here to feel her kick i decided to text him to see will he respond

(text to jay) jay baby where are you i miss you so much and the kids do too and baby girl wants you to feel her kick

2 minutes past

(text from jay)wait what baby girl omg bey i forgot all about that im sorry baby 
(text to jay )yes we are having a girl but jay where are you

(bey)
i waited and waited for him to repond but he didnt i got mad again . i sat in the bed and i got a sharp pain in my stomach but nothing to serious i tried to lay down but no position was comfortable she kept kicking me i tried to rub my belly so she could stop but she didnt i know only if jay was her she would stop . i just went downstairs and made me something to eat it calmed her down a little bit but she would still kick me it seemed like every time when i closed my eyes she wold kick . i layed on my side facing the side were jay sleep at brooklyn calmed on and i knew she missed jay and so did i. i grabbed his pillow he sleeps on and cried myself to sleep

TO BE CONTINUED